The advances that have been made in medicine and health have increased the average lifespan of the population. While undeniably a benefit to humanity, this boon can still have some less positive impacts, such as a lower quality of life for the elderly person and their subsequent dependence on another. This situation tends to make the daily life of the person responsible for caring for a senior difficult, namely children and other family members, who may experience moments of great mental strain, which will have repercussions on the relationship between the caregiver and the senior.
The Elderly Person’s Perspective
Despite many still being able to maintain some autonomy, the elderly often feel weary with their physical limitations: they see and hear with difficulty, feel pain in various parts of the body, can no longer perform simple tasks such as grabbing a water bottle and bringing it to their mouth, and need support with hygiene, among many other examples. It is an endless list of challenges that once did not exist and that leads them to complain frequently.
At the same time, they maintain routines that they value and follow rigorously and with great attention to detail. For example, they prefer to always eat at the same time with their usual cutlery and glass, which must be placed in a specific spot on the table. These routines are important because they bring stability and security to their daily lives.
The caregiver’s perspective
In turn, the person responsible for the senior always has several tasks at hand. In most cases, they have to work and manage their own schedule of tasks, ranging from taking the pet to the veterinarian to buying household goods, as well as the senior’s schedule, where the most frequent tasks are scheduling and attending appointments or medical exams, managing the bank account, handling legal matters, ensuring there is medication for the coming weeks, or making specific purchases for the senior.
How to bring different perspectives together
Given these two very different scenarios, it is natural for the caregiver and the senior to feel misunderstood regarding their respective needs. The senior wants someone who is available to perform all the routine tasks they value so much, at the times and rhythms they have become accustomed to. In turn, the caregiver feels overwhelmed and does not have the availability to do everything. In this highly divergent environment, frustrations arise, leading to resentments and even anger between the two.
It is important that the caregiver and the senior can discuss their feelings with other people. The senior may already be at a stage where they have difficulty moving around, so they have been isolating themselves in their home. Many friends and relatives their age have already passed away, moved to nursing homes, or have dementia, so the relationship with those people who “were from their time” is minimal. On the other hand, the caregiver is always so overwhelmed with their list of tasks that they don’t even realize they are deeply worn out.
One solution is to seek help from a psychologist, to be able to address their emotions individually, freely and without any embarrassment. The advantages are:
- Psychologists help the elderly reflect on and rethink the changes that arise with longevity.
- They can hold individual sessions, one with the elderly person and another with the caregiver, and subsequently hold a joint session to be able to talk in a guided way about their respective feelings.
The psychologist can explain to the caregiver behaviors and feelings that seemed inexplicable and vice versa, dispelling misunderstandings and strengthening the relationship.
How can we help
KindCare is available to provide the necessary support for managing the daily life of the elderly family member, contributing to the well-being of the whole family. Contact us to find out more!
Sources
https://via-senior.com/importancia-da-psicologia-no-idoso
/https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://recursos.ordemdospsicologos.pt/files/artigos/papel_psic_envelhecimento-2.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjUh5qE8MaOAxWfTqQEHTqsPW8QFnoECB8QAQ&usg=AOvVaw1i17FW154uugl9